January 2009 Archives

Corporate Blogs: It's The PageRank, Stupid

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If you're running an online business and have hired a consultant who tells you that you should have a corporate blog to "better connect with the community", fire that consultant.

If you have a corporate blog that is only marginally more interesting than a press release wire, you're wasting your time.

A corporate blog should serve only one primary purpose: distribution.  And I'm not talking about building brand recognition by getting people to read your blog.  Nine times out of ten, the text on your corporate blog is a chore to read.  Even Google fails this - their pathological cuteness and lame humor comes off as contrived.  It's not funny.  It's irritating.

Anyway, how does a blog get you distribution if you're not concentrating on branding?  PageRank.  You can and should use your blog for link-building and search engine optimization.

A great example of this is Mint.com's blog.  Mint is a personal finance web product that competes with desktop apps like Quicken.  Mint publishes longer articles about personal finance to their blog, and have several thousand readers.  That alone is interesting, but not mind-blowing.  The trick is that their content is useful.  It's basically a magazine about personal finance without the advertisements.  Social media picks up on Mint's content, and it gets a lot of inbound links.

Mint takes gross advantage of those inbound links.  That's the whole point.  At the bottom of every blog post is this little nugget:

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A-ha, I see what you're doing there.  Mint is juicing their PageRank with the popularity of the blog.  If you're a personal finance website, chances are you want to optimize for some of these keywords.  And it's really working for them.

If you use Google's Keyword Tool to estimate the traffic for these keywords, find Mint's rank in the result page for each of them, and then multiply keyword traffic by the distribution of clicks for the top results in Google, you'll see that Mint is raking in at least 100,000 uniques per month from Google for these keywords.

If you hire a writer to post on your corporate blog, you could be seeing this kind of traffic, too.  By "writer", I don't mean "Peggy in accounts receivable who majored in English thirty years ago".  No, I mean someone whose words are worth reading.  A decent freelancer will run you 50 cents per word.  A good length blog post is 1,000 words, and you should publish at least once per week.  5 posts like this per month will cost $2,500.

Now let's compare that to buying traffic from Google by bidding on these keywords.  A really, really conservative estimate of a bid price for keywords like this is 10 cents (but good luck ranking with that bid, cheapskate).  To buy 100,000 uniques would therefore cost you $10,000 per month, and you don't get the PageRank.

Of course, the success of this strategy isn't as quantifiable as buying ads, but eventually you'll see traffic throughput.  Any writer worth his salt will be able to game social media sites like Digg and Reddit, which will bring in the backlinks.  All you need to do is figure out what keywords to optimize for, and put them in the blog template.

Every day I'm hustlin'

Advice to Old Men from a Young Man

billy-mays-is-still-cooler.jpg1. Unless you were shooting Kennedy, nobody cares where you were when Kennedy was shot.

2. The left lane on the freeway is a young man's game.

3. Things will always get more expensive.  Bitching about the cost of gasoline isn't going to make it any cheaper.  Corollary: nobody cares that a gallon of gasoline used to cost a nickel.

4. War stories: keep them coming.

5. If you have a prosthetic hook-arm, it's your duty to use it to scare children.   Corollary to #4, your prosthetic hook-arm makes a war story way better.  If you didn't lose your arm in a war, make up a good war story to explain it.  Nobody will know the difference.

6. The world doesn't owe you anything.

7. Respect your youngers.  We're the ones who will pay your Social Security and take care of you when you're enfeebled.

8. Advice you offer to young men should fall into one of these three categories:
   A. The finer points of tolerable behavior when it comes to strippers
   B. Recommendations on quality whiskeys
   C. Sticking it to the man

9. If you're past the point where people depend on you, eat, smoke, drink, and gamble.  We young men must control our vices, but you've earned the right to indulge with reckless abandon.  Show us what we have to look forward to.

10. You keep getting older, but they stay the same age.  From a young man's perspective, a 65 year old man with a 23 year old woman isn't a shame, it's a victory.

Buying Sea Salt? You Might Be a Sucker.

see-also-hypertension.jpgIf there's one thing I have a lot of contempt for, it's neo-hippie bullshit.  However, my appreciation for fresh produce just barely overthrows this contempt, so sometimes I go shopping at The Berkeley Bowl for all kinds of fruits and vegetables that I've never heard of.  Really, they have some wonky shit there.  Ever see a Buddha's Hand?

Anyhoo, they sell sea salt there.  Salt, like 'out the ocean.  And people buy it.  And those people are morons.

If you buy sea salt, you're paying a premium for the luxury of being a douchebag.  It's salt.  It has no discernible flavor other than salty, it has no metric of quality other than not mixed with dirt and glass shards, and it should have no variation in price other than cheap.

You can buy 4 pounds of standard issue table salt for $5.37 on the internet.  Alternatively, I've seen 4 ounces of sea salt for sale for $2.39.  That's a markup of roughly 712%.  It's a pretty good business if you're selling salt.

In fact, sea salt might even be bad for you.  Regular salt has been used for years as a vehicle for iodine, a chemical your body needs to keep you from becoming a retard.  No bullshit, iodine deficiency can cause mental retardation.  It only costs a dollar or so to iodize a ton of salt, so it really is ideal.  Most sea salt isn't iodized, because it's sold as "natural".  Boy, a lesser product for way more money?  Where do I sign up?

Some people claim to be able to distinguish the "superior flavor" of sea salt.  These are the same kinds of people who keep a fridge stocked with gallons of bottled water and don't use the tap for anything but watering a house cactus.  If you are one of these people, you should kill yourself as a public service.  The only real difference between sea salt and table salt you'll feel when you eat it is the coarseness of sea salt.  That's it.  And coarse salt isn't worth fucking ten dollars a pound.

tl;dr if you're buying sea salt, consider yourself successfully marketed to.  It's like Fiji water.  You got hustled.